I Can't Believe I Forgot Her Name!

It is Bring-Your-Kids-to-Work day, and your new boss just introduced you to his five year old daughter. “Tiffany”, he says, with feebly hidden pride. Five minutes later, in a professional display of good will and charm, you are about to hand over some shiny markers to….. Wait a minute – what was her name??? Stephanie? Brittney? How awkward it would be to mispronounce the name of your boss’s daughter, or – heaven forbids – admit out loud you forgot it. So you avoid the name situation all together. It’s not only stressful; it is a real missed interpersonal, thus professional opportunity.

When we use a name appropriately in a conversation, our information comes across as more important, and we gain increased attentiveness from our listener. If you ask a co-worker or friend about whether their niece Nancy got into her College of choice, you convey a deeper level of interest than if the name was not mentioned. After all, a person’s name is the sweetest sound, and most important sound, in any language, in the entire world, that you can speak in their ears. Names are that important.

Yet if you, like millions of others belong to the club of the name-challenged folks, this can be a real tight spot. But before you resign to a nameless world of missed opportunities, cheer up because even for the most challenged among us, there are proven ways to remember even, well, an outrageous name like Jane, or Drew.

Here is your way out of the bind. If you find yourself in the camp of the visual learners, that is, those who tend to remember the visual form of information, try the following. Take the name and attach a picture to it, or to its parts. Oh, and the more bizarre, the better. For example, immediately visualize five-year-old Tiffany having breakfast at the Tiffany jewelry store in New York City, wearing a million dollar diamond necklace.

If you find yourself in the camp of the auditory learners, that is, those who tend to remember the verbal or sound aspect of information, embrace yourself for the following technique, for you are about to become a pro.

As soon as you find out the name of your Boss’s little girl is Tiffany, you set out to repeat the name three times in the next five minutes. Use your judgment and charm to make it sound organic – no need to disclose your mental gymnastics.

It may sound something like: “Tiffany? That’s one… “It is so nice to meet you!” “How old are you, Tiffany?” That’s two. A minute later to your boss: “Does Tiffany like to draw?” That’s three! “Yes? Perfect!” Four minutes later: “Here you go, Tiffany, we just got those markers – your father tells me you like to draw. I could use something pretty in my office!” That’s four times in less than five minutes. By now “Tiffany” is almost like one of those songs in your head you would like to get rid of, but find it really hard to.

You will be amazed to find out that you are confidently awaiting your next encounter with Tiffany, James, or Dr. Dolce – yes, you remember her name well. After all, you saw Dr. Dolce swimming in a Dolce de Leche ice cream tub – in your mind’s eyes. Smile! Challenged no more.

Daphne Alroy-Thiberge spent 12 years investigating the relationship between brain and behavior after receiving her BA in Psychology from New York University. She has published a book chapter, magazine article and multiple abstracts in the field. In the last decade, Daphne integrated her scientific and clinical training with Leadership Training and Life Coaching. She worked as a Corporate Trainer and a Leader for Weight Watchers International, and is involved with Breast Cancer organizations as a volunteer to increase women’s awareness and motivation to take an active role in their care. Daphne enjoys incorporating eclectic sources of knowledge to address a wide base of issues that focus mainly on personal growth, life skills and empowerment. Daphne lives in New Jersey with her husband and three children.